so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
