I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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