I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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