its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
