NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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