she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
