i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my sisters under your porch take her home
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
