the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
