Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
no, he came in my armpit
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Boobs are out for the taking
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
