he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
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I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
A bitchslap is in order.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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