I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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