I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
