It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
