with your own penis?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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