Too much gin, very little bucket
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
we should paint friendship bongs
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
