shes about as inviting as chlamydia
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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