There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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