Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
