he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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