You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Randomize