Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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