You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
