Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize