If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
