look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
