yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Boobs are out for the taking
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
