Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm at about main and main street
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
