My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
