Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
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The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
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I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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