Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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