I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
