So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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