is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
