I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
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I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
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Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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