Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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