I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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