i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
