But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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