a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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