The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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