Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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