This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
