If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize