My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
