I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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