she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
