I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
