All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
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Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
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You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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