my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
