M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
