i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
