Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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