So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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