i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
